Ravings of a Mad Woman

The journey of a mind in the land of Poetry




No pain has been or shall be able to tempt me into giving false testimony about life as I recognize it.......


Chances are if I know you OR knew you, I have raved about you.

Some of you make me rave in smiles, some in tears, some in anger........

Thank you for all of it, the sun, rain, clouds and storms

It has made me who I am, for that I am forever in your debt.........

If you are on here, you will know it when you read my words.........

Tea Party

I am
still a child
playing dress up
serving tea
in the company of men
I am
still afraid
playing adulthood
serving security
in the company of children
I am still
afraid inside
having tea
sweetened with innocence


Communion of the Mind (Saint Julius)


The Final Blow

trepidacious am I, as all I know falls apart
crystal carapace, slivered silvery
effaced by a blaze deep in my heart
Ashamed I am, of this bewitchery
simply selfish my mind screams
I call on him wantonly
my lover drawn from dreams

no longer frightened of love's foolishness
I bade my heart grow strong
Casting spells of happiness
denied of me for so long

unknown worlds of joy, love's light
too scared I was to know
what kept me safe all my life
My heart
Now deals my final blow

I have been raved about......

'take me'

by Joseph Serna

it sometimes takes a day to look this way
to find a style that says, 'oh baby please take me'
i love that look the trees just shook a thousand purple leaves
fallen down in sequined pages, vanilla paper, squirmy lines to bind
maybe come see me sometimes, (in your own mind) be free
let it all come 'round and 'round like the sky is cartwheel bound
to crash, it sometimes makes you play your look so say
'will ya do that for me please, oh pretty pretty with your china dollie knees'
like five ' even feeling like oh uh hundred steven eLaBorate's press to satin frees
in prisms of a tailored vest she wears a wicked queen of spades
she plays him in the frays, she shades somethings with gold witch rings
and digs some more beneath the sky, the air is high some more adore what for
he's begging helplessly, or is he leaping firefully nigh her fiercely petite thigh
witch four sunder does one say, oh oh uh oh
it sometimes takes a day to look this way
hungarian rhapsody wraps him he inside the velvet thorned glide with clueless view
she sometimes strikes you blue or some way scene to be
to find a style that says, 'oh baby please take me'


Posted on 08/16/2006
Copyright © 2006
Joseph Serna

(C?)ravings for me from a fellow poet friend on Pathetic.org

From A Ceiling Fan a Lover

false winds kissing my shoulders
making love to my skin
enveloping me in shudders
pulled to surface from within

making this the breeze I feel
my fantasy made real
brushing past my skin
his hand his lips his tongue
indulging without sin

Funny how I can muster
from a ceiling fan a lover

"A rose by any other name is still a rose"

All My Friends Are Dead

voices whisper sometimes
in the deep dark night
they talk with me of normal things
in this they all delight
they give advice they sympathise
remind me to pay heed
to each detail of all small things
they say all this I need
whispers of how they'd love to have
the air that I now breathe
the problems the uncertainty
the food on which I feed
each and every stupid thing
that I don't stop to see
they tell how I am so lucky
to continue just to be
of course this is quite normal
low whispers in my head
the only way they can talk to me
cause all my friends are dead



The Person I Can Be

as I packed my memories
a few of them fell out
they tumbled down fell right on me
the ones I had forgot about

I lived my life in days it seems
I thought would never end
but taken were they by memory
until I remember them again

and these my fallen memories
I worked hard to forget
out they fell and covered me
with the blackness of regret

Could that be me the cruelty
I thought I was so true
so good I seemed, you never dreamed
I would do these things to you

was that real was I unfair
did I lie sometimes to friends
I'm ashamed to find I did not care
I never made amends

where am I to put these
the less liked parts of me
there is no box strong enough
to hide the person I can be



      ~ ~  ~  MARIA  ~  ~ ~ 
In all I write is a thought of you,
there is not just one, but two!
Two souls who have just met,
knowing little of each other yet.
That which lay dormant in my soul,
you have rekindled and made whole!
Your words from the very start,
spread joy in a once cold heart.
I have been to places of untold horror,
and witnessed many a war torn sorrow.
Part of me had not yet come home,
there my soul would forever roam.
I  saw the meaning in your word,
a voice I had once softly heard.
There is much joy in all of life,
there is also the lasting strife.
You faced many an emotional foe,
yet remained wonderful to know.
I was carrying many a ghost,
who were using me as their host.
I had to turn it all away,
or loose who I was one day.
You can soften a sad cold heart,
you have felt the cold in a fresh start.
Your words have done for me,
what none other has done you see.
I begin once more to write,
free to think at night. 
I read of your sorrow and pain,
I wish for you all joy to regain.
You were steadfast, stood your ground,
your heart felt it all as it was all around.
Of all the words of tongue and pen,
the warmest yet from you have been.
You offer your heart on many a day,
to all who hurt and pass your way.
One like you is rare indeed,
for you desire only your need.
Your time will come to go,
mine will too and I know.
It will be said of not one but two,
they were willing to give to you.
There will be for you one day,
a healing place where you will stay.
Perhaps I too shall pass that way,
upon a bright, golden, sun ray.
[ Bill Hardesty ]  12/22/05
Bill is one of my muses, in male form and also I think one of my biggest fans.
Thank you Bill, this was my best Christmas gift ever!

My turn to be raved about, the other shoe has fallen....Thank you Bill

A tear you bring to mine eye,
as I remember a time long ago.
I feared I would surely die,
while in my heart I wished it so.
It was in a place far from what I knew,
with things I had never known.
I told myself this is not you,
but it came out as death I was shown.
Fate let me live and yet I did die,
for the warriors who fought with me.
For those I never got to bid good-bye,
as in an instant their death I did see.
I live in two worlds now forever more,
as I travel between both you see.
I came knocking softly at your door,
and your words have set me free.
Maria, you have touched me where no one else ever has since that time long, long ago, in a place far, far, away. If I may, I send you my love for you are beautiful to behold as your spirit I can sense, it is remarkable, I know you are there. I bid you good night.----"A Man"

Written by Bill

"A Man"

To me Bill is more than just a man, but a better example of a true man I have never had the honor to meet.

Oh Mother

she lies in peace
of perfection
undisturbed beautiful

who would break the grace
of this a perfect waking
cause the hush to fall away
wipe the dew off from her face

who would steal the stillness
of hers
she is waiting
for us all to come awake
start again the taking



adrift in a sea of reverie
wet with moments past
memories lovely they seem to be
unsure they slip from my grasp

water warm now turns to cold
awash I am with anger old
moment in time a choice is made
anger once strong now starts to fade

awash I am in tepid tide
swimming away from envy from pride
faster away from hurt from pain
I reach the Isle
always the same



we crack my soul
he watched it bleed
leaving just a hole
that aches with need

I put up a sign
needed clean fill
to fix my mind
he prescribes a pill

one a day
will do the trick
warning it may
make your tongue feel thick

nothing gained without side effect
no free trade
when you are sick

don't bother to try to think it through
just swallow the pill
It'll fix what's wrong
with you

thank you Doc
but I'll be back
when your little helper
creates my heart attack

then I know just what you'll do
another pill
to make me new
perhaps a little surgery
with a cut a slice
you're fixing me

a whole new show
of body work
all bondo fill
but the frames still broke



She drew her breath and held it
Trapped the scream inside
In that instant her heart melted
Melted yet had not died
The sound she stopped was pushing
smashing against her eyes
For years the pressure building
From the pain she felt inside
She thinks we cannot hear it
She tells herself these lies
But the sound streams oh so clearly
We see it coming from her eyes
In paths of liquid diamonds
once hidden deep denied
Her soul's own secret carbon
Transformed to beauty when she cried

Soul Speak Song


So it was a crack tore free
out it leaked
that part of me
held down so long
forced underground
gave way one day
in joyful sound
pain hurt sorrow now transformed
into beauty
soul speak song
those who hear so unaware
they love to listen
yet never care
know not can they the pain inside
my words are tears
I can not cry
shed to music
my tears still fly
all the loss I will not mourn
set free now swept on soul speak song
let go the dreams that still I long
now soar on wings
of soul speak song
darkest hours my heart has borne
I sing them now
sing soul, speak song
Broken down by grief or fear
I call the tune out
so I can bear
when nothings right and all is wrong
I sing my tears
I soul speak song




To rid himself of lifes cruel pain
He bought the ticket
Boarded the train
He rides it now the destination unclear
I wonder where is he going?
Will he like it there?
The final stop, is it worth the ride
Will you like where you are going
Or is the cost too high?
I hope the trip that you're taking sets you free
doesn't trap you in pain for eternity
I know you are going, I know not where
I only know someday we will all journey there
Every man has to board the train
Some ride for free, some pay in pain.......



I remember my grandmother's voice when I was just a boy
She was my first true friend
What lesson have you learned then?
Once a day she asked of me
I told her of school, of friends, and climbing in a tree
I grew and grew and still it would be
What lesson have you learned then?
Always would she want to know
an endless litany
I told her of the simple things sun, rain and snow
What lesson have you learned then?
Of course I would reply
Never did she speak, only I would have my say
I was never sure just why
 sometimes I could laugh others I would cry
She just listened, never would she walk away
Years had passed no longer just a boy
What lesson have you learned then?
Now it might annoy
Yet still she asked of me
  so to shock I told her of the worlds cruelty
 pain and rage the thoughtlessness of those who did not care
Finally she spoke
she leaned in close to me
The worlds not changed my darling boy
It will always stay the same
It is the mind that differs now, the cause of all your pain
Look on the world with the eyes
You once would use on me
the ones that saw the simple joy of climbing in a tree
I knew in that moment she had waited for this day
So long she asked the question
 just to show the way
What lesson have you learned then?
I thought sitting by her bed
Will not be long say your good-bye
That is what the doctor said
I leaned in close so she could hear me say
Who will tell me of the lesson that I must learn today?




Brightly lit
the world is so
I love it here
but I must go
Where to now
I am unsure
It's okay
I have had such fun
The world's now dark
am I really done?




Oh my God, not now
(just tell me will she make it?)

you'll feel just a pinch                      
A wrinkled brow

(just tell me will she make it?)
time passes slowly
in its torturous drips
the IV
a shirt falls apart in snips
(after all we've been through)
Can you help him soon
Please I'm begging you
(why her Dear God?)
It will be just fine
Doc says in time
(I can't believe she's gone)
Thank God
(why her and not you?)




Your eyes speak to me of desperation
the message is so clear
the yearning for another
who no longer holds you dear
Why drown yourself in sorrow
swim in this sea of pain
even when you lose another
the best of you remains
Don't lose your self in seconds
Don't forget what was once so clear
You can try to love another
but it is yourself
You should hold dear

Justice Wins


Play a game with me he said
How bout a game of chess?
I don't know much of games I said,
But to this I will confess
The greatest game is life you see
This someday you will win
If you keep your men in line
Don't let the bad queen in
Remember the small men in the front
Never forget it is
The small man who will bring you to victory
There is much truth in this



Through pain we cannot know, bravely you will go
walking on...a man
To face the greatest foe
the cold nights of the soul
One never knows the plan
still strong and tall...a man
no heat of fire nor fear of death
will ever steal the breath
that breathes the light inside
the grey of life
the dark of night
all you will abide
Doing so
all that you know
walking on...a man



I am tired

tired of being good

tired of being bad

tired of losing things

I thought I'd always have

tired of the conflicts

tired of the fight

tired of having to explain

actions I feel are right

tired of this confusion

tired of all this mess

tired of not knowing people

I thought I knew the best

I am so tired

tired of trying to tell you

tired of trying to be

the perfect one

Why can't I just be me?

You used to like

who I was

it used to be just fine

now it seems when things go wrong

you only want to fight

I am so tired

tired of this game

I really don't care to play anymore

It just is not the same



My canvas is his skin
The palette I am in
Tries to colour his world
Stroke here a touch there
He starts to take shape
A lovesick fool labors to make
A masterpiece unknowing
The turns and the twists
Are really all his
Leaving my work of art unfinished

Fields of Heather

ha ha ha he he he 

Come on Mom
write a poem about me
when did I start, where did you begin
it seems so long ago
but I remember when
when you were so little
just a little brat
who would have ever thought
you would grow up to that
to be a field of Heather just a blowing in the wind
here and there everywhere
oh well, I still remember when.....