Ravings of a Mad Woman

The journey of a mind in the land of Poetry


...laughing she looked Death in the face
and said, "Stop acting like I am your first"

11/08/04 M.Howard


upon waking this morn
I heard tell
Hope was gone
seems she took her own life
and others
deaths we all should mourn
course knowin Hope was dangerous
I stayed far away
rubbing elbows with Reality
seems safer most days
oh she was bright
yep real bubbly
damn downright gay
but anyone with a lick
of common sense knows
Happy ain't never stay'd
bein a drifter
he always been
a comin an a goin
travelin the wind
bout the time she got tanglin with 'im
most knew how it would end
see when the two was together
they lit up a room
but that kind of brightness
burns out too soon
leaving a darkness so deep
it will swallow most men
yep Happy and Hope
downright dangerous
yes Sir Amen

To Your Grave I would Run

how can it be so easy
to feel your mouth on my skin
to make of a shower your tongue
I am coming undone
bathing in such sin

how can it be wrong
to desire to long
if it feels so right?
trying to stop the flood
it's useless no good
you return everynight

infecting my dreams
with this your disease
I would glady succumb
if death felt so right
I would die each dark night
to your grave I would run


Afraid of the dark

old fears come to haunt
scurrying in
so swiftly they move
but I still see them
trying so hard
to hide from the light
hungry they wait
hidden till night
watching waiting wishing
I will
weaken a bit
let the fears spill
out from my mind
onto my bed
there they surround me
whispering words
((better off dead))
gleefully they dance
shriek in delight
come with us
come with us
into the night
twisting turning my mind
oh the fright
fighting old fears
I turn on the light


the day my innocence died
was like any other day
cartoons stuffed animals
a child at play

humming happily in my world on the floor
cartoons color flashing on the door
as you walked out I watched you go
it was never your fault how could you know

the monster did not live under the bed
my monster was hiding inside a mans head
it only came out when you went away
who knew monsters attacked during the day?

Who knew my monster could speak
in words of forked tongue
whispers of don't tell
(I'll Kill you) don't tell anyone

when you came home my monster he smiles
it hissed she is sick
in bed for a while
I heard my mother
is she okay
she'll be just fine
my monster would say
then slither out the door
with another days pay

Remember Last November

Remember last November

The turkey that we ate?

The way we laughed when he got drunk

and slept right on his plate?

Remember how mad we were he

ruined the tables face?

Angry that he was always drunk

on every holiday?

How Mom would make that sound, and whisper

What can I say?

Remember how we thought he would

always be around?

Remember when you found out that he

had gone away?

The pain you felt through a phone

in the middle of the day?

It was the sound that Mom would make

only now so amplified..

She was screaming it in agony

my baby committed suicide.....

Then the mask fell........

Suited up for battle
Marching out to fight
Today the ground would rattle
So sure that we were right

My mask of rage
purchased by patriotic view
I never took a moment
to think you wore one too

We met like dancers
at a masquerade
you wore your mask
I wore mine also
both so unafraid

We danced death gracefully
in step and perfect time
We waltzed to sounds of freedom
the score not yours or mine

The time to dance
now over
you left the dance floor when
you fell in fight for freedom
and cried out for a friend

the mask fell off
I seen you
I seen myself then too



Savage Garden
My world of dreams
Where nothing is
what it seems
Beautie's wish
can be dark and deep
joys so painful
a delight to weep
angry cries transform to songs
all that's wicked
here belongs
in my savage garden
My world of dreams


Whispers of the world

Lost upon the winds

Silenced by the greed

and hatred of men

Murmurs of love

sighs of please

lost like foam

on this angry sea

Drowning us all

in the blackness

it seems

whispers of the world

language of dreams

Just One More Day


No shame in Death

There is no shame in death

gone with life's last breath

Hunger, shame, need

Vanity, anger, greed

Left with what is best

Peace, unending time to rest

Fight it not, gently go

on the journey of the soul

Leave behind this world of need

Let the garden go to seed





Place The Stone



They never placed the stone you see
Now shackled with flesh to humanity
Separated from mine and mine from me
They never placed the stone you see
Will I suffer this damnation eternally?
For the lack of one stone
I can never be free
hidden in ponderous layers of flesh
Never to live the life I love best
They never placed the stone you see
Will they come on my death, to set me free?
The heart of a night bird beats in my breast
yearning for the life I left in my nest
Would that they know, I hope they can see
Murder where I die, place the stone set me free




The grave was hungry
It fed on him
Dined with such delight
The grave was hungry
It fed on him
Feasted throughout the night
The grave was hungry
It fed on him
Fed till it was full
Now we have what's left of him
Was there ever a hunger so cruel?
Is there nothing that can chase it down?
Force it not to feed?
Stop it from delighting in this never-ending need?


In my dream I always die
a death of horrid pain
I shriek and scream and claw his face
the dream is still the same
Years have passed and still he comes
At night to kill my rest
In my dream I always die
a death of horrid pain
everyday I wonder why
the dream remains unchanged
Is this my final destiny promised to this man
Or shall I cheat him of his dream
to die by my own hand?

Permanent Press

Clothe my soul with a layer of skin
Hide my self deep within
A permanent press for the world to see
But the cloth won't last for eternity
Edges fray, seams will tear
Sooner or later I will be bare
To go find a tailor for a new suit of skin
A brand new cloth to stain with sin