Ravings of a Mad Woman

The journey of a mind in the land of Poetry

 

 

 

But all the clocks in the city Began to whirr and chime: 'O let not Time deceive you, You cannot conquer Time."....

Actually a true story. While reading through a cypher book from the 1800's that a young girl had been keeping I found the signatures of Confederate soldiers on the way back from Gettysburg. She must have asked them to sign in her book and they did. In the end of the book after many blank pages I found the poem above. The author of the poem is John Ridgely, his signature is shown above.

An Exercise in Futility


While running out of time
An hour's eagerness I despise
perhaps it is time to try
a different exercise

Can it really be so rough
to just stop, to give it up
decide I have had enough
and gracefully let go

Flexing muscles
never tried
letting go instead
of holding high
I now exercise
with futility

No sweat rolls in my eyes
I feel a satisfaction
and wonder why
before now I never tried
all of this nothing

Although a feat
such letting go
Tis such relief
I've never known
such satisfaction


As luck would have it
wouldn't you know
all of this work of letting go
has made me restless

05/25/2007

HOURGLASS OF FLESH

Frail hourglass of flesh
your sands of time be blood
only God above may thresh
let loose the dying flood

Oh sands may you flow smoothly
slide down as light on glass
yet if a shake should clog these grains
I'll pray for strength to last

 

frail hourglass be strong I pray
fight cracks of fear, of loss
hold firmly closed until the day
from life to death I cross

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soul Secret Seeks to Spill

Why can't I be eternal
not pass on just one breath
I long to be forever
without a thought of death
today passes all too soon
into yesterday
waste away the tick of time
Into another day
waxing and waning
pass by unnoticed till
heart song sings to thee
soul secret seeks to spill
on paper that is bleeding
the ink of heart's desire
a soul full of longing
of envy and desire

soul secret to strong to dry
in the light of just one day
it takes eons great space of time
to tell what I would say
I have been here
I will be
on and on and still
so long as lasts humanity
soul secret seeks to spill

04/30/2005

Give to me a Second Hand

Stop watching me
ticking tocking stalking
measuring my moments with cold precision
demanding unforgiving merciless system

you have a way of counting
up all my days
in cold hard seconds
never allowing for delays

I hate your hands
so cold they pass
over me each time
ticking away my destiny
taking from me what's mine

I hate your face especially
the way it is marked
NUMERICALLY
they way you travel
without memory

Can't you stop
a minute
slow down let me breathe
give to me a second hand
to set my soul at ease?

Complacent

We are all so comfortable
complacent
lazy
We grow numb, benign
waiting for something to wake us up
Make us grateful for our time
Thank God for sorrow
Thank God for hate
Thank God for pain
The things that shake us awake again
for this we all are waiting
yet bit by bit we fall asleep as the feelings fade
slipping back to the life
that makes us comfortable again
and so we go
again we grow
complacent
numb
lazy

05/08/2006

there's no stopping life's clock

hickory dickory dock
there's no stopping life's clock
as darkness turns to day
we witness life's decay

hickory dickory dock
our lives ruled by a clock
tick tick tock everyday
time has final say

Hickory Dickory dock
I hate this freaking clock
make time go away
we need more time to play

Hickory dickory dock
I threw away my clock
in the same bag
as my age
the sagging skin
and wiry greys

Hickory dickory dock
my new best friend Botox
told me there is a way
to beat the enemy age

Hickory dickory dock
no measuring time
without my clock
same thing everyday
grows boring without change

Hickory dickory dock
I wish I had a clock
same thing everyday
longing for decay
forever I stay the same
it's driving me insane
I long for the grace of age
Hickory Dickory Dock

04/04/2006

E~N~D

E~N~D
it is over
in an instant
stripped of joy
all our hopes
our dreams
are over
hard to fathom
worth the bother?
hate love
all the problems
all the joy
mean nothing now
just over
what was this time for?
in the spaces of
three letters
life will now be tucked
Everything Now Done
Your eyes at last will shut
everything that meant
so much
today
now lost to a past
to time
of life before
death's shadow
over us was cast
now over
so short
can't help but wonder why?
we fight so hard to live
when everyday
we
D~I~E

09/28/2005

Save Past Tense

silly are we
trying to slow the march
along the path
birth to graveyard

collecting things of nothingness
that can't be taken
with our last breath

instead of collecting
what we can't keep
hoard death's only baggage
our memories

they say our lives
flash before our eyes
not your bank account
when you die

perhaps we should
start new accounts
of love and laughter
not numeric amounts

so when the day for withdrawal comes
you'll have saved much more
than mere earthly sums

so live your life
with action spent
in present moment
and save past tense

08/25/2005

A Moment

striving for understanding
of a system said divine
lacking the perception
necessary to be sublime

I am left alone
wandering
in a world dark with cold
understanding less and less
each day
growing tired
feeling old

searching for an answer
for a door never there
hungry for an answer
I long to be aware

dim from all the dark days
eyes longing for sunshine
reaching for a destiny
a moment to mark my time

09/07/2005

In the blink of an eye

and in the blink of an eye
the world changed
not so much so they would notice
but what was did not remain

it was over in an instant
and going was it still
some sick were healed
and healed became ill

the world as they knew it
grew darker
then light
the morning in an instant
and seconds later night

time continued flowing
as waves to a shore
and the world as they knew it
on waking was no more

your life in an instant
none stop to stare
one second you are with us
and then you are not there

in moments like this
I will stop to see
I will take just this moment
before you cease to be

My Final Home

underneath the ground where I lie
Can you smell me still?
You come here to visit as if I am just ill
yet this is no hospital
I am long cold dead
you pretend of me as if I am not
you bypass
the final dread

oh face it sweetheart
I am just rotting meat
if you look closely
you can see them now
my upward pointing feet
stuck still in position
of where you're soon to be
is it just that you don't love enough
to love me for me?

sadly though this is all I am
I have truly gone away
and all angels white
and devils black
are my company today

look not here to find me
in mounds of dirt
cold stone
what's left of me
resides within
your heart
my final home.

08/17/2005

Breathe In Breathe Out

living life wandering
in a world so full of fools
breathe in breathe out
be a part
follow useless rules

living life wondering
what could be on thier minds?
they all follow so easily
breathe in breathe out
wasting all thier time

living life wandering
falling in and out of line
breathe in breathe out
the same, I have tried to be
living (lies) life accordingly
is not what I am about

living life wondering
the difference in you and me
I try you see, I get in line
can't stand it here trapped within
breathe out breathe in
I just can't be your kind

09/27/2005

10:21

 

I hear a sound
drawing near
tick tick tick
it's feet hit the ground
I have no fear
for death I'm bound
the face that always watches
counting out my days
witnesses without judging
the error of my ways
I wish it would just speak
tell me when and why
the answer that I seek
So I do not waste my time

Memory of Time

Tomorrow and Tomorrow
always today
days pass in vain
pain fades away
Today was tomorrow
tomorrow is today
days pass so slowly
when the pain
comes to stay
yesterday came tomorrow
and tomorrow comes today
time is nothing
but a memory
that fades